


Forbidden

by igi_pigi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igi_pigi/pseuds/igi_pigi
Summary: "You told your Dad about me?"Imagining of how that scenario must've went down. Considering all resolutions/arrangements were to change with the events of 'The Avengers 2012'.[Set not long after Thor1]





	Forbidden

_"I come up here sometimes when I can't sleep... or I'm trying to reconcile particle data, or when Darcy's driving me crazy. I come up here a lot actually, now that I think about it."_

Thor smiles to himself imagining her words as though she was sitting right beside him. Eyes closed, he is lying in a secluded spot in the hills - one foot dangling down the cliff, the other placed on the edge with both hands folded under his head. He always liked it here in the hills whenever he wanted to be alone. But ever since returning from Earth, he has started frequenting it a lot more.

It's peaceful. He doesn't have to pretend here. It allows him to be away from everything and everyone. And best of all, he can simply imagine here. Imagine all this hadn't happened - that he had to fight his brother and then lose him. That he lost Jane. Or that Mother wasn't going mad searching for Loki in the cosmos through her magic and burning herself up. That Jane wasn't burning herself up trying to find him. The Bifrost wasn't destroyed because of him, cutting Asgard away from everything. And that they were still a happy little family.

The silence between the three of them now is smothering, he can't bear being in the palace. He'd very much like to be on Midgard, fulfill his promise of coming back... The helplessness that comes with the realisation that all the misery around you is because of you and you cannot do anything about it - it's cruel. It kills him. So he comes here to escape.

Jane's words about going to her rooftop when she feels lost always come to his mind when he does. And they always bring a smile to his face, he's helpless against it too. Sometimes he turns his head to find her laying beside him, beaming wide, looking beautiful as ever. And he'd smile some more.

She'd be wearing the same woolen garb she had that night. And he'd think of how she would look in Asgardian robes - here right now with him. He could tell her he has very well adapted to her habit, or how sorry he is for not keeping his promise. Maybe he'd just grab her and pull her to him - she really liked that.

Thor opens his eyes, immediately looking to his left - finding nothing. He sighs and sits up tiredly. The skyline of Asgard is glowing red in the last moments of sunset. As if it's dying too. He stares at it blankly for a few moments, then gets up to leave for the palace.

He could just fly there, but he prefers the slow walk down the hills and through the city. The calm wildlife and city chatter give him a sense of normalcy. Though he'd still hear hushed talks of himself having dallied around with a Midgardian maiden. He doesn't mind it. It's true, after all.

A wailing noise on his way down catches his attention. He looks around, into the forest and hears it again, louder this time. He walks in, prepared to call forth Mjolnir. But decides against it when he spots the source of the sound - a wounded wild boar trapped beneath a fallen branch.

"What happened to you?" Thor mutters to himself as he takes slow steps towards it. It is still crying in pain, less loud now. Maybe it spotted him, he can't tell. How did it wander this far towards the end of the forest and get itself trapped like this? Maybe it was chasing something.

Thor gets on his knees in the dirty wet mud to remove the branch. Now it is certainly looking at him, its wailing ceased. As soon as he touches the branch, the boar kicks him with its other leg and howls. It managed to land a rather nasty cut on his wrist and he instantly covers it with his other hand.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you!" Thor raises both his hands in the air - not sure the creature understands these gestures. Seeing no movement from it, he breathes a little and pulls his cuff over to cover the bloodied wrist, wincing a little. Then tries again - tentatively. Boar lets him this time, only letting out a cry when Thor lifts the heavy branch in one go.

He plunges it aside and sits back, the boar is visibly relieved as well. He stares at the open wound from where he sits, then at Boar's face - tears shining on its dirty brown face. This unlovable aloof creature, free from the restraint, still unable to move - the wound is too deep. Who is going to help you?

"Let me see what I can do." Thor whispers, as it's one and the same thing Boar hears it or not. Mother only taught her magic to her son, but Thor knows a lot too. He knows the kind of herbs that can heal the wound, he just needs to find them here.

Thor gets up and wanders a bit deeper in the forest, returning with herbs some time later. He finds the boar's head turned his way as if it kept it that way the entire time. He smiles at it and goes to sit close to its leg. He crushes the white herbs with his fingers until they glow. Then hesitantly moves his hand closer to the leg.

"I'm sorry..." He apologises before quickly dabbing it all on the wound. Boar cries again, writhing and trying to move. In a few moments, the wound is completely vanished, Boar realises it too, as it tries to get on its feet again. It takes a few tries but it manages, as Thor watches intently.

It looks his way before heading in the forest, and maybe Thor imagined it, but it felt as though it nodded. He wished to stroke its head, but the horns made him decide against it - he already has a bloodied wrist thanks to it. So he settles on a smile.

His walk back to the palace isn't as relaxed as it usually is. He didn't realise just how long he spent helping the boar, it's well into the night now. He did notice people eyeing the dirt on his clothing. Even the gatekeepers did as he entered the castle.

"Your Highness," one calls after him as he walks past. Thor turns in surprise.

"Allmother had been looking for you."

Thor's eyes narrow on their own but he says nothing - nods and turns.

"She--" The gatekeeper calls again from behind, abruptly stopping himself, unsure if Thor would appreciate this or not. He only looks at him expectantly.

"She is in the gardens at the moment." He completes hesitantly.

Thor smiles. "Thank you." He says and makes his way to the gardens on the left.

It's strange that she is in the gardens this late, she never likes it there when the flora is asleep. Thor, however, thinks there is a soothing calm in lying in the grass under the moon.

He spots her - her back to him - sitting between the swarm of herbs... the herbs she uses in her spells to search Loki. She must be sitting there to pluck them, but doesn't seem to be moving at all.

"Mother?"

Frigga flinches and turns around, revealing a bunch of herbs in her hands and a small smile on her tired face. "Thor! Where were you, I was looking for you."

She did not say that in a condescending tone at all. But neither did she make any efforts to find him, as she claims. She wouldn't be sitting here if she did, collecting even more herbs to find the son who is dead.

Before Thor can say anything, she holds his hand and gets up. "Your Father wishes to speak with you."

He feels his heart sinking. He knows he should not have this sort of a response to something as simple as talking to his father but he cannot help it. What did he do this time to irk him?

"Did he say about wh--"

Frigga apparently hadn't seen or heard him speaking, as she pulls his hand to walk towards the stone bench nearby. She does notice his dirty clothes, however.

"Where are you off to all the time?" She speaks as they sit. "I never see you around."

Thor looks at her, as if to be sure she'd meant it. He isn't the one who is away... It's her who has locked herself up to spend every waking moment searching for Loki in the cosmos even though Thor and Odin keep telling her it's no use...

Thor searches her tired eyes. 'Loki is dead, Mother!' he wants to say, for it pains him to see her this way.

"I'm here." He does instead.

But she is already looking down, her hand slowly pulling his blood soaked cuff to reveal the bruise the boar gave him. Thor looks too. He completely forgot about it, even though he had had a persistent stinging feeling all this time! He even had the healing herbs in his hands when treating the animal's leg, but it didn't occur to him once to use them on himself too. He closes his eyes at his own foolishness, then thinks of what to tell Frigga.

Though she isn't looking for an explanation. She only moves her sparkling fingers over it, and it's gone. Thor should be used to this by now - but he still stares! Only the smeared blood is left. She does, however, give him a look and a shake of head as if he is still the child who bruised his knees while playing. Of course she thinks he got this off some reckless act too, his clothes proving it further. Now he feels like shaking his head.

Maybe he does, when he goes ahead and grabs her forearm, speaking with concern. "You should have some rest, Mother."

He is too exhausted to have this particular conversation yet again, so he adds before she can protest, "please, I insist."

Frigga looks a bit surprised, though she hides it right away and smiles - a little impishly. "I was heading in anyway. What are you being so dramatic for?" She pauses for a giggle before adding, "like your--"

She looks down.

Thor takes a quivering breath. A part of him selfishly, jealously, wishes he was enough for her so every waking thought she had wasn't of Loki. Another wishes he could _somehow_  bring him back to her, so he could just see his mother happy again. He sometimes also thinks about what if he was the one who was dead, maybe then he could get her undivided attention...

"Come." Frigga pulls at Thor's hand, getting up to head in the palace. They walk in silence and only when they are in the hallways leading to her and Odin's bedchambers, she speaks again.

"I'll put them in there." She brings her hand up to show the violet herbs and then gestures towards the hallway on her right which leads to the kitchens. And this time, before _he_ can argue, she adds, "then I'll rest."

He gives a small smile and takes her leave. He knows she wants to give him and Odin space to talk about whatever it is he has decided to be disappointed in him today. And he'd rather take the humiliation alone, than with Mother with him. So he walks ahead.

"Father?" Thor calls when he reaches the doors.

He is asking one of the guards if he is even in there when he hears Odin's voice from inside, asking him to come in.

He had absolutely intended to close the doors shut and tight once he was in - so no one can hear a word of what they talk. But the first sight he sees upon entering is Odin sitting on the bed trying to place a goblet on the bedside table and failing.

"Father!" Thor rushes in, forgetting about the doors. "Are you alr--"

Odin sharply raises his hand, bracing the one that had slipped on the table. And Thor freezes in place by the foot of the bed - he'd rather let his father fall than bear the consequences of 'disobeying' him, after all that has happened.

Odin looks up to him and smiles, letting him know it's all good. His hand had just slipped, nothing to worry about! Thor lets himself breathe. His eyes flick towards the goblet on the table and it looks to be containing some medicinal potion. Eir had been having him take these ever since he woke up from 'his sleep'.

Odin gestures towards the balcony, not before eyeing his clothing. "I'll just..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Thor watches him get off the bed and amble towards the open balcony. He follows to stand a good few steps away from him on the side.

Odin's silently watches Asgard's night sky, hands clasped behind, while Thor's anticiapation rises every moment. That little mishap threw everything off. Perhaps Odin forgot he wanted to talk to him. Thor is contemplating reminding him when he speaks calmly. "You broke it good. It'll take long in resurrection."

Thor looks over where he is looking - Heimdall standing at the end of the broken Bifrost bridge. He doesn't know what, or if he should speak in response. Everyone knows why he had to do it. There was no other way. And he had lost the most in it... a heart and a promise broken.

"I..."

"Quite concerned about it, aren't you?" Odin is still looking ahead. "That you just have to go down there every single night and learn of its progress."

That sinking feeling returns! Does Father know what he and Heimdall talk about?

Odin looks at him, smiling. "Or should I be fearing a mutiny?" The curt smile is the only sign that he means it in a light-hearted manner. Thor still feels offended, though he wouldn't say it.

"Father..." He tried to speak in a jovial manner too. But it didn't quite come out that way. Odin turns back again when Thor cannot conjure up more words. His gaze seems fixated on Heimdall - as if giving serious thought to his own joke now.

He nods, in a manner of agreeing with himself - and says again, "it'll take long in resurrection... long enough for her to give up."

Thor's heart stops. Did he hear this right? This is what he had been wanting to talk about with him? Jane Foster.

Thor doesn't think _he_ wants to talk about her with his Father at all. He'd figured just about everyone would have some inkling of his time on Earth. But how does Odin know? Of her?

"That is human's nature, after all." Odin says a moment later, still not looking his way. "You'd have seen their ill-favoured side had you stayed longer."

He turns at last, to look Thor in the eye - as if not to miss his reactions now that he was really about to begin with his 'talk'.

"But you form your rose tinted image of them upon the limited time you spent there. That's rather foolish, son."

Thor swallows, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Is that how fragile your rule is going to be? Framing unwavering perceptions upon first meetings and touches of scarlet women--"

"Father!"

He sneers at him while Odin raises his brows in mock surprise. How can he say that for her? He hasn't met or known her to say something so degrading - even if to provoke Thor.

But if there's anything he has learned living with Odin, it's that he immediately needs to apologise for raising his voice in front of his Father. Or else he'll rip it out of his throat. So he lowers his eyes, and apologises - even though he doesn't feel it at all, and that he isn't at fault anyway.

"I am sorry."

"You should be."

Thor closes his eyes. Odin looks away.

"Midgard is no Helheim or even Muspelheim. It poses no threat to us. But they are still much beneath us. Mortals aren't like us. Their lives are just a fraction of ours."

Thor looks up. He knows this.

"Surely, you know this - or do you choose to _ignore_ it in your starry-eyed love for the lowly mortal?" His mocking smirk is evident now. "Unbelievable as it is foolish!"

Thor girts his teeth. She is not a 'lowly' being. And he is well aware of their differences. He didn't choose to fall in love with her. She is not a political agenda, like his father thinks... He wants to scream at him. But it's just no use with Odin.

"They are insignificant, their lives amount to nothing." Odin keeps talking. "They can only be as good as being servants here, before they die of illness or weak wills. They--"

"Her name is Jane." Thor raises his voice. He cannot take this anymore. "And she is much more than your ill perceptions of her kind!"

"Ah," Odin smiles knowingly as his son keeps looking at him angrily, "so mutiny it is!"

Thor blinks in exasperation. He is just so predictable and foolish, isn't he? His father is right.

"What _do_ you plan on anyway, Thor?" Odin's enjoying this. "Bring the lowlife mortal here? And then what?"

He sighs and speaks in a weak voice. "All I'm saying is that you have a very false understanding of the humans. They are not--"

"I cannot forbid you from meeting Heimdall." Odin speaks over him. Of course, moving to the next point in his agenda, uncaring of what Thor has to say. "As your father, I can only advise you against it. Nothing will come out of it."

No advice before had been spoken in such stern conduct. Thor keeps his eyes on the floor, making sure not to nod.

"But as the Allfather of the Realm Eternal, I forbid you from visiting Midgard under any circumstances henceforth."

"What?"

"You know better than to disobey my command."

And with that, he starts walking towards the doors to leave the chambers. Thor takes a step after him, still unable to believe what he just heard. He cannot do this to him! Seeing Jane again was what had been keeping him going... How can he be so heartless?

"Father?" He cries. Odin stops by the doors that are slightly open, only to glance over his shoulders.

And Thor has absolutely nothing to plead in Jane's favour. They belong in separate worlds... It was never meant to be. How could he think anything would have come out of this. What is he doing? And why cannot he still let go?

"Please..." He helplessly pleads as a lone tear streams down his face. But for what?

Odin turns his head back and leaves. Thor closes his eyes. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, he scrubs his face with both hands. The nagging scratching of the blood soaked - now dried - handcuff seems to catch up as he angrily takes it off and throws it at the wall in front of him. It ricochets off onto his parents' bed.

He turns around and takes a few steps to brace himself at the balcony. And lowers his head in defeat.

*

Later after a dinner from which Thor was absent, Odin stands in his balcony again, watching Frigga sleep rather peacefully. At least she listened to her son and rested herself a little. He looks outside, watching Asgard fall asleep as well - fiddling with Thor's handcuff Frigga had found on the bed.

He isn't a least bit surprised to see Thor making his way to Heimdall. In fact, it is why he is standing here - to see for himself his stubborn son go against him just to prove that very fact. Even if he hadn't felt like it, he'd still have done it - purely out of spite, Odin knows.

So he watches Thor and Heimdall talk, and wishes for Thor to come to his senses someday. He'll go tomorrow, the day after that and keep going. But hopefully, he'll give his words some thought too. He'll think of them when he ends each day in longing. Maybe, slowly, he'll understand. And maybe, he'll give up his naive quest, his father can only hope.


End file.
